I feel so alone and scared and most of all desperately confused?

I think about that stuff a lot too, but it sounds like your becoming obsessed with it, you need to keep a divide between your work and your personal life, or if it's a hobby make sure you don't let it run your life, distract yourself with thinks or workout, that helps me. You can IM or E-mail me from my profile, if I can I will help you.